呼求甜蜜蜜
摯友
你好,不經不覺…
又是這開場白,但真是時光飛逝
八月尾,神學院學習正式開始
生活一如馬拉松,學習外,還需處理些工作,所以,一直沒機會安靜,
於是,學習上,遇上了問題,也不知如何找人幫忙.
如:發聲軟件的不準確發聲,引致英文課本難以閱讀,又如,大量課本需要掃描進入電腦,此外,還因身為新丁,甚至從前乃門外漢,對”神學”的陌生,帶給了我甚大的擔憂,恐懼…
困苦裡,一再有卻步的念頭,沒實行大概也基於面子,當然,也有不少肢體和教牧的鼓勵,只是,生活…還在被鼓勵和被打沉之間,浮沉起跌…
卻不知,主的恩手一直在背後,主的祝福一直在面前…..
08/10/09,課堂間的休息時段,正替測驗成績感滿意,我卻聽見兩位學院同工的聲音,他們乃專程前來了解我的讀書情況,以便找出合適的協助方案.
如前述,一直也不知如何幫助自己,皆因此乃第一次以視障人士身份上學.期間,我問過不少視障人士的學習情況,卻沒甚幫助,因他們多為先天失明,已習慣用點字學習,對他們而言,學習並不是一回事,我卻是中途出家,聽(英文)又聽不清,摸(點字)又不夠快…就因多番求問而找不著半個好方案,一直以來,我真不知如何協助自己,也沒期望有何好法子!只可見野就做..
就因這無力感,所以,這兩位學院同工找了我好幾次,恰巧自己聽不到電話,,我便一再沒將事情處理.皆因我對未接觸過視障人士的他們沒太大期望.
大概他們十分緊張我的學習情況,故在課室門口守候我.
想不到,他們竟給了我一點意外驚喜.不錯,沒有什麼偉大方案,但他們告訴了我,學院有部十分快的掃描器(2秒1頁)—我自己的掃描器差不多20秒一頁.我立刻想,這已是很大的幫助了!!!
期間,it同工也告訴我,會寫下工作流程, ,並會將之電郵各同工,那時,我真的很感動,因感到在神的祝福下,全學院的同工也樂意協助自己!!原來神的確會祝福自己的夢想!
其實,在此以前,某天,我正為學業禱告,禱告後,上述學院同工之一便致電給我,問候我,她還告訴我,可安排一位三年級的畢業同學,協助我學習.如今,師兄也和我聯絡上了──同樣原因,在聯絡的過程裡,我也有點被動…
在上述事情裡,我再一次明白,真正明白,呼求主的重要.特別是當自己也不知自己如何幫助自己時,我就只有呼求神.
只要呼求,神給我的協助的確比想像中更好.
當我覺得沒其他解決方案時,祂給我一部超快掃描器(在神學院)
當我感到不夠時間自己掃描課本時,祂替我安排一位師兄(當然是多功能師兄,掃描以外,還可以問功課的)
我記起了,其實在這段時間,我一直在想,自己實在太多時候依靠了人,依靠了自己,卻少了依靠神,於是,我曾經渴望學習依靠主,也有如此禱告
結果,這些學習上的事情,也真的讓我明白依靠主的好處!!!
(當然,在其他生活細節上,我也看到主是如此教我明白依靠祂的好處!!)
(因不少事情也不用自己過份操心,只要做好本份,加上禱告…) 不單如此,最近,在倦極時,在很想重尋跟主的甜蜜關係,卻又沒時間之際,我求主,讓我重新感到祂的體貼,上述的事便發生了,主是很希望我們跟祂有親蜜關係的!!!
感謝耶穌
主內
頌安
(P.S. 聽過Celine Dion的Because you love me嗎?
我常把此曲當詩歌唱..
不懂說時,你替我發聲
看不見時,你是我眼睛
沒有摘不到的星
你拉我手,我甚至可觸摸天際…
Because you love me
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me
through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
